If there’s one thing to remember, remember this: The only person who has power over you is you. You are the flashlight that turns on bright or dims if the batteries go low. As human beings, we have the ability to not only govern our own actions (turning on your own flashlight) but we also have the power to control our own emotions and attitudes by keeping our batteries charged. Practice always keeping your batteries charged by not allowing others to drain them. Bottom line: Keep your light bright. You will maintain inner peace despite any amount of exterior conflict or difficultly. For years I often dwelled on things out of my control, but I realized that does nothing except cause pain to myself and confusion to others around me. Once I learned how to keep my batteries charged, my focus and ability to achieve skyrocketed.
Here are the 4 simple points to keeping your batteries charged:
- Only You Have Power Over You. No one can upset you unless you give them power over you – basically giving them control over your batteries, to drain them as they please. Or another way of looking at it, when you give your emotional power away to others – especially if your good actions are not recognized or appreciated. What would happen if you made a permanent decision to refuse to let other people control how you feel?Would you experience incredible freedom if no person on earth could ever upset you or make you angry again? This can happen, but not without understanding this very important concept: Someone else’s poor behavior is not about you. The only deciding factor that has power over your emotions is your own internal measurement of what upsets you and what does not. When you let others frustrate you, upset you, or make you angry, you are giving away your power and losing valuable time in your life that you will never have back.
- Keep Your Slate Clear. Make a resolution to face any situation with a clear mental slate and without resentment. Having an open mind allows you to absorb all useful external knowledge around you, while internally focusing on what information has the greatest value to you as an individual. Once you let frustration and anger close your mind, you greatly limit your ability to think clearly and make the greatest use of the world around you. An open mind allows for the cleansing of stored negative thoughts and allows us to act. We can attach negative thoughts to us like a tattoo, and attach the meaning of those negative thoughts to block ourselves from being open to new actions and changes in the way we live. When you encounter conflict, practice doing the opposite of your negative thoughts – which is creating positive actions. Movement creates new thoughts; positive movement creates positive energy. Over time, building a pattern changes your perception of yourself and strengthens your confidence to take on new things.
- Fear Is The Enemy Of Peace. Have you ever experienced someone lash out at you for no reason? Remember that it isn’t about you. When people have fears, they project them onto others. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of not being good enough – these are all fears that people use as the fuel for their attacks upon others. If someone speaks to you in an unfriendly or aggressive way in the workplace, or if someone cuts you off in traffic or seems irritable for no reason, then they are probably experiencing some difficulty or unhappiness in their own life that they are projecting onto others around them. When facing a conflict with another person, people often resort to airing their own grievances in response – therefore only adding fuel to the fire. Try to stop and listen to what the other person is saying. Are you able to understand the reasons for their fears and concerns, or are you instead just responding with your own?
- Time Is Precious. The time you spend focusing on a conflict is time spent not finding a resolution. In a survey of 5,000 full time employees in nine different countries, 85% of all employees surveyed reported that they encountered conflict at work on a normal basis. Studies report that approximately $360 billion dollars in paid hours – or the equivalent of 385 million working days – are lost each year due to workplace conflict. Think of the amount of wasted time this represents. Instead of this time being spent initiating projects, building value, or creating relationships with others, this time is needlessly wasted in dealing with unresolved conflicts.
By keeping your batteries charged in this way and not letting others drain your energy, you can give yourself the power to resolve any conflict.
– Tim S. Marshall, Author of “The Power of Breaking Fear”
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“The Power of Breaking Fear”
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