1. Changing yourself can lead your partner to follow in your path (the good path, IF you choose to lead by example). It can be hard to see it; but sometimes your greatest obstacle is what is in your words and not in the other person’s words or actions. If you Fear that your partner will not change or be open to change START MAKING EFFORTS TO CHANGE YOURSELF. Trying to change some else can’t happen.
2. If you feel you need to make a change (only to please someone else) it is more than likely it will not last. That is why repetition is so important if you WANT to create a new behavior that lasts! It will start as a need, but if you continue to practice the behavior your NEED to change, you will eventually WANT to practice the right behavior. You should be open to feedback from your partner. They may initially say something that hurts you or feels foreign to you. IF YOU ARE TRULY OPEN HOWEVER, YOU CAN LISTEN AND BE DEEPLY AFFECTED BY YOUR PARTNERS SUGGESTION. IF UPON REFLECTION, YOU CAN ACKNOWLEDGE TO YOURSELF THAT YOUR PARTNER RAISES A VALID ISSUE, THEN THE DESIRE TO CHANGE CAN BECOME YOURS!
Excerpt from the book RELATIONSHIPS: How to Embrace the thorn in the rose 🌹
Authors : TIM S MARSHALL (7 time author and the author of THE POWER OF BREAKING FEAR & DR. DAVID BOLSTON PsyD, P.A., Licensed Psychologist