Business & EntrepreneurshipFear & Personal Growth

How to Build Your Own Castle

By February 22, 2018No Comments

Keeping your own circle or force field is extremely important. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way. I’ve tried to please too many, or held onto toxic employees I thought could be redeveloped. It is important to surround yourself with really good people. People who care, and people who are open-minded and driven. It starts with you.

Your psychological status should be like a castle. You should have high walls to protect your ideas, but you control who is allowed to come in through the drawbridge, so as to let those in who bring value, so that no matter what comes from the outside, your fortress stands tall, strong, and protected. All those around you should be positive people who bring you up, as opposed to down. Surround yourself with positive people who see the best in you. Remove yourself from a situation or relationship when someone’s behavior is demeaning or inappropriate. This will allow you to flourish no matter what is in your past or what is directed toward you. Do not waste valuable energy trying to change negative people; remove yourself from the situation mentally and, if needed, physically.

Part of building your own castle is that you must become your goal. Literally. Breathe it, live it, love it. Self-doubt, self-judgment, second guessing, and the fear of the unknown are all normal. We can turn all of these into strengths by researching and practicing what you can overtake and act on reversing what you perceive as being a weakness into a massive strength by this one statement: Live outside of your comfort zone.

Another important component of building your own castle is to know how to influence the people around you. By influence, I don’t mean in a negative way such as influencing someone to do something they would not normally do. I mean that you want to influence others by encouraging, supporting, mentoring, and helping them. You will influence others most effectively if you influence yourself first. To be able to influence those around you, it helps to know how they think, how they act, and what makes them tick. You need to know what is important to them, and how they can relate to a topic in their own lives.

Think of an analogy to fishing. There’s preparation, calculation, and initiation. By building influence, you’re building interest and awareness to turn “what is that?” into “I want that.” The greatest leader is one who can influence someone else through delivery (demonstrating what they are preaching), and who asks good questions. What are good questions? Sometimes they are the ones that cause your team to scratch their heads. They may not have the answers immediately, and that’s ok. The point of the good questions, the tough questions, is to cause reflection and make them dig deep.

How do you believe that you can accomplish anything? It starts with believing in yourself.  

– Tim S. Marshall, Author of “The Power of Breaking Fear”

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